Saturday, 18 December 2010

alcohol induced weirdness

I was going to give an interview for the MA course of the school of Fine Arts in Athens. I walked into a room with a big oval table. Some people I didn't know were already sitting there. I was not personally acquainted with any of them but I could guess by their description who each one was. Soon all the seats were taken and we started introducing ourselves. People were telling their names in random order and rather loudly, a situation I found terribly off-putting and hesitated to say mine. I did get a chance to introduce myself at some point and when I did people I had never seen before started laughing and a girl with black posh clothes and black straightened hair made a rude and uninteresting comment. I said "imbecile" between my teeth. A professor with a black leatherette old-fashioned jacket and a black perm gave me a severe look and told me that it was clear I did not fit there and that I should leave. I should mention that around the table were the previously mentioned girl and man, a girl and a boy that were fellow students of mine during my first studies, of whom I am not that fond, a woman that teaches history of art and belongs to a school of thought I find narrow-minded and obsolete and, in the position of my previous teacher, Dumbledore. When I got rejected I felt annoyed, partly because I hadn't been given a chance- they had not asked me anything, I was obviously criticized for my appearance only (I was wearing a handmade cardigan with thin multicolored stripes I made when I was 12 or something)- and partly because it reminded me of another interview I had gone through with the same result. I got up and became very aggressive. I told them exactly what I had in my mind for each of them in a vulgar vocabulary. I told them they are the enemy and that I don't really need them anyway since I already have a Master of the Arts title! The guy that had rejected me went into the other room and I was screaming about his incompetence as a teacher and an artist. I told him that he had obviously been given this position after bribing and making sexual favours since as an artist he was utterly meaningless. I also accused them of populism and prejudice. I left the room after thanking Dumbledore for being there and kissing him on both cheeks, a gesture that made him feel obviously uncomfortable. I went outside and kept on yelling curses and criticism. I went into another studio where I met people I knew and told them what had happened. I was so angry that, occasionally I raised my voice enough so as to be heard from the next room. This attitude made people turn their faces from me. I felt further uncomfortable about that but I had decided to make a huge fuss and speak out every truth people would only dare whisper. I thought that someone should say all these things aloud and since I had nothing to loose I might as well be the one! I went through some strange corridors and doors that made you go round in circles and got outside again. Next door I met a friend of mine that is a wood technician. I was happy to see him and started talking about my recent experience again. He did not mind my loud voice and seemed to be on my side but he warned me that if I keep this up they might send someone to kick me out of the building. I said I was leaving anyway. I returned to my house and I met my sister. She told me my mom was upstairs and I started climbing up the wall pretending to be spiderman. I took my sister on my back and started climbing with her. I was amazed that I could do that! I also noticed I had a humongous hanging penis that made me feel terribly awkward and thought that something was very wrong with that image, so I went through the whole scene again trying to avoid the penis.. I went up the wall that was silver with holes as if it had an emendal cheese pattern.
I woke up. I burnt my arm some days ago and my blister was very itchy. I tried to find a better position for it and went back to sleep, sure that I needed more sleep to avoid a heavy hang-over head-ache.

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