Monday 28 February 2011

The troubled sleep

Two days ago I dreamt of P.'s grandfather. I had heard his mother say that his brain has shrank to the size of of one of a new-born. I dreamt that we had gone to their house. We went into the room where the grand-father lives. I stood behind a door but I could still see inside. I saw a very small, almost bold, shrunk figure covered in multiple layers of bed-spreads. His skin seamed very frail. He was in the size of a skinny ten year old boy with transparent old skin.
Yesterday my sleep was very troubled. It was very light with many annoying dreams. I saw that I had gone to see a doctor and he had operated on me. The size of my tummy had not changed though. I had two small incisions at the upper side of my stomach and no stitches or bandages. I kept looking at them and wander if this was all. I showed them to some friends of my sister and Th. said that this must have been the case. I telephoned to my mother then and she did not believe me. She scolded me for something and said that I should go see another doctor.
I dreamt a lot last night as well. I saw one of the most frightening dreams, ever. I don't even want to speak it out. Knock on wood. I saw that my mom was dead. I don't remember seeing the corpse but I think it was let there on the bed for the police to check. There was also an ominous sculpture from wet clay. I removed its covering plastic sheets and sprayed some water at it, so that it wouldn't dry. My sister was there and we were shocked but we were trying to figure out what we would do with the house, I thought of moving in there for a little, and about what we would do with a loan she recently got for my operation. We mentioned we didn't need it after all and wondered if we could return the whole sum at once. I also asked my sister if she would like us to move in together. Then I saw that I had returned to my house. I woke up early and when I went into another room I saw two beds. My mom was sleeping in both of them. It was as if it was two ghosts of her, from two different days and they were both there in the same room. I started crying and called her name. She woke up and I told her I loved her. They both hugged me and I was slightly relieved. Suddenly I panicked and thought that our house will be robbed. I got out on the street. It was very early in the morning. I wanted to go and take the first bus home. I was walking from Mouseio to Omonia district in Athens. There were lots of people dancing on the pavement to loud electronic music. I ignored everyone and walked as fast as I could. I wanted to go home and take as many memorabilia of my mom as I could.
I also saw that I was with P., waiting for a bus. We got on and I asked the driver where we would get our tickets from. P. had said that we would buy them inside but I thought this would not work as the bus made a huge route and it would be impossible to sell tickets to every individual passenger. The driver that was wearing a driver's hat said that we would get them upstairs from a chap named Tony or Johnny or something of the sort. We got upstairs and faces a hideous crowd of retarded skinheads. P. sat at the back seat and I went to get our tickets. The clerk looked like a nazi-skinhead as well. I did not have enough money and wanted to call P. but on the other hand I did not want to start shouting his name among all those people. I remember someone saying that their heads looked like apples and showing me a small puncture in the middle that looked remotely like an apple.
Earlier or later I dreamt I was walking with someone, probably P. towards the house. We were crossing an area that looked like a park. Someone told us we could not reach our house because it was the date of somebody's assassination and there was a riot that had turned our neighborhood into a battlefield. We went on and then I was alone. I can't remember much of what took place in the meantime but I came near water. I saw a very clear spring with small smooth pebbles. I talked to someone about the place having become deserted and then I got into the water.
I think this is all I can remember from last nights troubled sleep.

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