Boys

On Friday morning I dreamt I was with K. I was washing his hair. He had a strange haircut. Most of his hair were shaved, as if he wanted to seem to be going bold, yet there was a line of hair left above his forehead that looked like a big mustache. I remember scrubbing this area with soap as well as his sideburns and beard. I remember that a lot of things happened in that dream but I went to work and I forgot most of it.

Last night, or more likely this morning, I saw I was with P.and then I met another boy. It was my friend Th. I haven't seen for almost two years and with whom I was in love in 2000-2002. Nothing ever happened between us apart from playing. I was thinking I was in trouble because I liked them both so much. I felt better with P. but I also thought that since I wanted Th. for so long I shouldn't miss the opportunity to see what it would be like. I did not know how to tell then both how the situation was. Obviously I was not going to lie or hide. In the scene that followed thing got even more complicated because T. changed into D., who is -or was- the boyfriend of another close friend of mine. This image was very upsetting and I tried to bring back Th. in the dream. Then I saw I was in a supermarket with all these people but I didn't know who was my partner. I found myself naked and alone in a corridor filled with people doing their daily shopping. I put my clothes back on and I went downstairs to find my friends. A broad-shouldered but short guy showed us his beer. He was drinking a Heiningen. I understood what it was from the little castle on the label. We asked him to get two more for us. I woke up.

I have been very nervous lately and I didn't want to get out of bed and face reality so I went back to sleep. I woke up an hour later so I didn't go to my morning job. I'll take the dog out for a walk, cook and draw.